Now Now...

I'm going to attempt to explain TO MYsELF why i hate my father soo much and why he sucks:

1. selfish and a miser. probably the biggest reason of all. Gives me the BARE MINIMUM my ENTIRE life. I will admit that my family is one of the better off in my extended family tree but i don't think that is any excuse for scrimping. He thinks that the role of the father is just to provide housing and education and food and that's that. He nevers spends an extra penny on me. NEVER. never bought me any new clothes, I HAD TO BEG like hell for a CD player in secondary school. only then does he unwilling relent.
   
2. self-centred. he only cares about himself. has a personal Television, a rack for it, an armchair for the watching his personal tv, buys only fruits that he needs and wants, the type of bread that he wants, basically, he doesn't buy anything for anyone other than himself.
   
3. self-conscious and insecurities. let's face it. i can tell that he's the nerdy kid who doesnt play sports and now, he's having his mid-life crisis and tons of insecurities. He doesn't like to engage people, he always avoid conflicts with people. He's a wimp, in other words. And, i used to look up to my parents - until i realised that well into their adulthood, they still haven't got used to themselves and juz be comfortable in their own skin. How the heck are u going to raise kids, if u can't even get past ur own insecurities? And in a way, i feel as if he doesn't want me to be better than him. Lest it makes him feel inferior.
   

In my mind, there are so are many instances when i hated my dad. and there are none when i am thankful for him. I remembered how little pocket money i got in secondary school, even though i was doing triple sciences and had classes late into the afternoon. I remembered how much favouritism he showed my sisters my entire life. soooo many examples that i can't really pen them all down.

This fathers' day, i hope u rot and burn. U don't deserve to be celebrated. U don't deserve to be called a father. To me, u're no different from a stranger.